My friend, we'll call her Rosie for anonymity reasons I'm sure she cares about..., pointed out to me that my blogs are somewhat on the deep side. I like to think I sprinkle some sarcasm or humor in here and there...but this one is mostly serious. I wanted to share something I wrote about an experience I had that I likely won't forget, and that reminded me of a valuable lesson in life.(...I'm sure I'll continue editing neurotically)Joseph Sebarenzi
It’s not everyday that you meet someone who has a lasting impact on you—you know, beyond a few hours of thought before discarding it into a pile of memories in your head that you’ll retrieve every now and then.I feel pretty lucky to have met Joseph Sebarenzi, an employee of the company where I have been temping for three months.
I work for a company that hires interpreters for court cases and Joseph is one of our interpreters. He came in to give a talk about his newly published book at lunch, and about ten of us attended. I'd received an e-mail invite a week before, but had kind of forgotten about it. I ended up deciding to go at the last minute. I knew he had written a book about Rwanda, but I needed to read the blurb about his book on Amazon so I had an idea what it was about. I don't know much about foreign countries' politics, let alone Rwanda's. I've never even seen Hotel Rwanda. I had little idea what to expect from this employee and author.
I was so happy I went though, because hearing his perspective on life was very refreshing and uplifting. His story is intense, and I can't imagine all he's seen. Having survived the genocide in Rwanda, fleeing his country, then returning to hold political office, only to be forced to leave again when he discovered the Vice President wanted to murder him. You'd expect some bitterness or cynicism to come out in his personality or words. But his positivity was unbelievable.
He described the fear he felt hiding in a neighbor’s house during one of the genocides as the Hutu were after him and his family, at the door saying they were going to kill his family that day. He sat there as their neighbor friends tried to protect his family and he didn’t know if he’d live another day. Obviously, he did, but only because the genocide miraculously ended the next day (for what reason, I cannot recall, just that it was rather sudden and inexplicable; and obviously a temporary solution). Even after this depiction of the genocide he recalls being in Rwanda for (he was there during one when he was a baby, too), he moves on to his theory on how Rwanda can solve their issues, that he tried to put in place while he held political office.
It was amazing to me how quickly he could put those memories out of his mind—while they obviously disturbed him and were emotional—and discuss creating peace in Rwanda through reconciliation and forgiveness.
He explains his perspective by telling us how he lived for years, unable to forgive those who had caused harm to his family. He told us how he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t understand how anyone could ever do that to another human being, and how this resentment he held within began to affect his health, as well.
This is his transition into talking about how being raised Christian saved him, and has brought him to the place he is today. He was taught by his parents when he was young, that you should not respond to evil with evil, but with kindness. This lesson finally caught up with him, and he decided to forgive those who had killed much of his family, and not to resent them for it. This is what he believes the people of Rwanda need to do on the whole. If everyone can forgive each other for their past trespasses, the generations of the future in Rwanda can live in peace. But until the Hutu and Tutsi can forgive each other for killing each other’s ancestors and family, the genocides will continue to destroy Rwanda.
The part that was most remarkable to me, was his ability to put his own resentment and anger aside to attempt to lead Rwanda into a better state.
"His parents, seven siblings, and most of his close relatives did not survive the genocide in Rwanda. Yet, Sebarenzi instead of being bitter, he strove to live a life of love, compassion, and forgiveness. Mr. Sebarenzi lives in the United States and lectures across the country about reconciliation and conflict management.”
And now he speaks across the country spreading this same life lesson in reconciliation, not harboring resetment against those who do you harm, and forgiveness. It was truly amazing to me the perspective he had on life even after the horrible things he has seen and experienced.
He ended his talk with a comment to us about not harboring resentment in our own lives. He said, everyone goes through suffering of some sort during their life—whether it be problems with a boyfriend or girlfriend, school, a job (notice he doesn’t mention his own personal suffering which is arguably much more traumatic)—but the solution to the suffering is not to get back at the person, in short, but to respond simply with kindness. This way, he says, you will remain the person that you were meant to be.
"and his wisdom on why individuals should remain positive and kind despite the sufferings they endure. Joseph Sebarenzi maintains that no suffering should derail us from who we are."
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